How to Pray (for people who don't)
9 Tips for Your Prayer Life
“Why is it when I pray I just feel like I’m talking to the ceiling?”
A friend of mine, who had recently become a Christian, asked that question. It’s a good one! That’s probably one of the reasons most of us struggle to get started in our prayer life. It feels alien.
This is especially true for those, like my friend, who weren’t raised in a Christian home where prayer happened all the time.
My hope in this email is to give you the prayer version of stabilisers on a bike. 9 simple tips for getting your prayer life started.
1. Teaspoon Prayers (T.S.P.)
One of my earliest memories is of my Dad coming into my class at school and teaching us this way to pray. It’s stuck with me ever since and has grown with me.
Teaspoon (TSP) is just a mnemonic for three sorts of prayer:
Thank you God for:
Sorry God for: (don’t forget to remind yourself of the gospel)
Please do __ for me and __ for my friend
The great thing about this method is it can be stretched anywhere from a one-minute prayer to an hour. You just do more things under each section.
“But, Tim,” you ask “How do I know what to pray?”
That brings us to the next point…
2. Pray the Bible
Before you come to prayer, take a section of scripture. It can be a verse from your Bible reading or a takeaway from a Sunday sermon. Whatever you wish.
Using the teaspoon prayer (above) look for things in the passage to fill out the Teaspoon prayer. For example
Bible text: “Jesus wept” (John 11:34)
Thank you God that Jesus knows what it is to have pain.
Sorry that in my grief I’ve yelled at you “You don’t care, you want to hurt me”. Thank you that Jesus took the punishment for that sin.
Please help me and my wife to bring our grief to you and find your comfort.
For a longer prayer time, choose a longer passage and do more of each.
3. Plan a time to pray
Prayer doesn’t just happen. You need to find a time to do it.
This is best at the same time every day. You’ll be more likely to stick to it if you attach it to your daily routines.
Pray before you eat (and not just "bless this bunch as we munch our lunch")
Pray before bed
Pray in the car before you go into work
When it’s attached to a pre-existing habit you have a prompt to pray every time it happens.
4. Don't stress about how long
We’ve all heard stories of people praying through the night. When we get convicted of our need to pray, it’s tempting to try to mimic these prayer warriors. However, when we’re three minutes in and have nothing to say, we start to feel inadequate.
Going from no praying to an hour, is like turning up at a marathon without training.
Much better to pick a realistic prayer goal. Think of it this way:
If you pray every day of May for a minute, you’ll pray for 31 minutes.
If you pray 5 minutes once a week, you’ll only pray for 20.
Set a timer on your phone for one minute. Pray for that long. If you managed it, after a week go up to 2min and so on. You’ll soon work yourself up to praying for longer.
5. Learn to pray by praying
If you want to learn to ride a bike, there’s no point in buying a book about cross-continental bike-packing. You’ve got to do it.
It’s the same with prayer. You learn to pray by praying.
You don't need another prayer book or seminar or app. You just need to do it and do it again. The more you practice the easier it is.
6. Have a plan for mind wandering
One of the biggest challenges for prayer can be mind wandering (especially if you are stressed.
Here’s some strategies have helped me
Clear you mind by writing stresses before you start (then you know that you will remember them later)
Turn your anxieties into prayer
Pray out loud
Write or type your prayers (advantage of typing is you can delete after)
Keep to a reasonable length (see 4).
7. Develop a system of things to pray for
How many times have you said “I’ll pray for that” and never saw it through?
Get a book or a notes app and just write down prayer requests.
Cross them out when answered (after you've thanked God)
8. Allow dead space
In the modern world, it’s easy to never have silence. This leaves very little room for prayer.
Don't fill silence with podcasts or music. Get rid of your earphones for dull tasks and let your mind meander into praying.
Great times to do this include:
Car journeys (eyes open though!)
Washing dishes
Exercising
Sitting in the garden
Waiting in a queue
Walking down the street
9. Persevere
I’m not a prophet or the son of a prophet but I know this:
You will fail in your prayer life.
But praise God, we aren’t saved by our prayers. So when you're praying:
Confess it as a sin to God.
Trust in Jesus for forgiveness
Try to pray again
And repeat this process until you get to heaven.
Now all you have to do is pray.
